Big enough to have it's own postcode !

This post is about a friend of mine.... (they all say that)...but seriously - it is. She's just met a chap - and so far (after much discussion and debate with me and her other female friends about his behaviour in the three short weeks that she's known him) he's doing well.

So well in fact that tomorrow night may be THE NIGHT. I don't need to explain. He's coming to hers for dinner. This will probably involve wine - more than 2 glasses as she's no Delia - and therefore precipitate a sleep over. She lives in a one bedroom house. Enough said (nudge nudge wink wink).

She has booked a waxing session for tomorrow morning. I did advise that she should have done it a couple of days ago - we don't like that 'just plucked chicken' look - do we girls? But - she's always on the last push and just didn't get round to it. I've advised Aloe Vera (hello vera) gel and sitting still for a few hours - and hopefully it will be all right.

I've just been chatting with her on the phone - and we have discussed the menu, the undies, the outfit, the lighting, the music, the shoes (demure low pumps - or killer FM heels?), the wine and all of that stuff. Girls you know what I mean...Guys - you will be going..'huh?'

Anyway - right at the end of the chat...she confessed. To having a spot. On her Ninny.

OH MY GAWD.

It's not THAT big - but it's new - so at the time of chat - it's angry and red and aggressive looking. And it's right where it can't be missed. I mean RIGHT WHERE IT CANT BE MISSED.

'Maybe he's shortsighted - and won't be able to see it without his specs' I coo'ed in an  effort to clam her ensuing panic. She then informed me that it was so big that it may as well have its own postcode...the only way he could miss it was if he was blind - and then he would be able to read it because it spells the word 'HELP' in braille.

Quickly I (good friend sat on sofa with laptop and wireless connection) googled 'Spot on Ninny" and got some vague stuff about all kinds of rubbish - including a post about 'Winnie The Pooh'..(good old Google thinking it knows what you want) but alas..no remedy. I nearly posted an "attention all readers"  query on Facebook but common sense prevailed - and I don't want to get my FB account shut down.

Spot on Ninny is a very serious affliction. We wouldn't want a Gentleman Caller thinking that she doesn't care for her ladies garden. 

Anyway - after much wailing and gnashing of teeth - we decided that the best course of action would be to apply copious amounts of Sudocreme to the afflicted area - and re-assess in the morning. She's going to call me first thing and if necessary send photos by I-phone..so that I (with all my medical training) can best advise her.

So fingers crossed as I retire. For her - and her spot, and her ladies garden, and her date, and her reducing possibilities for dancing the horizontal mumba tomorrow night. Girls everywhere - please keep your fingers crossed for her.... Guys - sigh and go back to watching football. 

As always - I will let you know of the outcome.