Sorry if I startled you with the title. I have to say that I was a bit startled this morning too. I had tea with Ian. As soon as I set eyes upon him I kind of knew he wasn't for me - but that's no reason to do a runner - and as tea was all that was on offer - and it would take an hour max - I was prepared to stay.
Ian had pale skin and was slender. At a guess I would have said about eight stone wet through. The type of guy who should never venture out on a windy day in case he ended up impaled upon railings.
He was dressed in clothes similar to those that would be worn by Wallace - if indeed Wallace were a real person and not a Nick Park animation. His hands were soft with slim fingers and his skin - as he shook my hand - was cool and smooth. His eyes were blue - but a very pale shade of blue, and his unlined face was clean shaven and very paltry - with a hue of whiteness that reminded me of mother's milk. He was the kind of chap you would bump into at the library and he could be carrying one of those brown vinyl shopping bags with a long zip - that you absolutely know (should you peek inside) would contain a bottle of Milk of Magnesia and a tin of marrowfat processed peas.
We sat down and began to chat. He works for the civil service - but upon enquiring - I discovered that this was his second career - as previously he had been a mental health nurse. I was surprised that he had changed career and asked why. "I was struck off" he replied.
Curiosity can kill a cat - but it won't kill me (or so I thought) so I asked why.
"I spent time on remand charged with murder" I choked on my Earl Grey and spat out soggy biscuit crumbs. Obviously that would have been a good time to leave - but my interest was peaked - and so - keeping one eye on the door whilst simultaneously planning my escape route I asked what had happened.
His mother (oh it's all so Oedipus) had been ill. She required daily blood transfusions - this involved daily trips to the hospital some fifteen miles away - and it all became too wearing upon her frail body. She suffered from dementia so my date had been made her legal guardian. He opted for treatment to cease in order for his Mother to end her days with dignity.
Social services became involved - but before they had time to wrest the legal guardianship away from Ian - sadly his mother died. As a result he was charged with murder. Apparently there was a hefty inheritance in the mix as well.
Eventually he was proved to be without fault and released from incarceration. However - this caused a depression of some severity. Understandable. He began to drink. A lot.
One evening he was in the local pub enjoying a game of pool - when another chap - a reknowned local thug and bully - started to take the mickey out of the situation surrounding his mother's demise and his subsequent time spent at her Majesty's pleasure.
Ian lost his temper - grabbed a pool cue - and stoved the other guy's head in. Talk about a worm turning. He was arrested - charged with GBH - received a suspended sentence - and as a result - lost his licence to practise as a nurse.
Oh what an interesting morning. Will I be seeing him again? No - I don't think so. I am already suffering from the slow onset of dementia - and I'm a crack hand at a game of pool (especially where money is involved). I'm not overly keen on those jumpers without sleeves and I prefer my men with a bit more colour. (He reminded me a bit of someone from Twilight...only not as good looking). The intensity of his eyes was altogether a bit much for me.
Still - it was lovely to meet him and it kind of proved that old adage that the quiet ones are often the worst.
(Note - Dear God - please send me somebody decent soon...Thanks X)
